catching my breath

Is it really April already? I've sadly fallen into the evil spiral that starts by falling a little behind in updates and ends up turning into an endless black hole of life happenings that just gets avoided altogether. Now I'm left to pick up my mess and let you in on a glimpse of this past month... Oh how I envy those dedicated daily bloggers right now! But in reality, this month has been one of such change, growth, stretching, and pure reason to worship - and I SO want to share every second of it with you!

A while back us women had a bible study based on prayer. Not just any kind of prayer - but the true, faith stretching, utterly relying on the Lord, I really don't believe that this can happen, life-changing kind of prayer. Now, I'm pretty sure a group of recent college grads starting a completely new ministry in a poverty and violence stricken third world country where they don't really speak the language or understand the culture need a lot of faith. And it's true. Nothing about this year hasn't stretched our faith in substantial ways. But months in, I found myself needing more. My personal faith can seem so weak and my prayers so pitiful. I mean, we DO follow the very God who created this life we call our own. The God who's salvation is the hope of the world... Yet so often I'm content to pray selfishly. We challenged on another to ask what GOD wants us to be praying. Personally it was a breath of fresh air to remember how much God not only can do, but wants to do in my life. Confidently coming before him and asking him to do big things here and in my life is exhilarating and has given me a much needed perspective renewal and excitement for the future.
About that same time, I was listening to a Francis Chan sermon on humility (knowing I definitely needed some truth in that area of my life) and was completely challenged by Philippians 2:3 "...but in humility count others more significant than yourselves." He talked about how as Christians we so often forget that we're supposed to be like Jesus. Lofty shoes to fill... but a holy calling nonetheless. During the sermon Francis allotted time to simply come before the Lord in humility and meditate on his holiness. At once my heart was burdened to make this a daily habit. To start each day on my knees before my creator, giving it all up to him and learning how to be a servant - what it looks like to count others as more significant. The entire process was a great encouragement to myself and my team, and while I'm still learning to discipline myself in it, it has been a haven for my soul in times of desperation and chaos.

Ministry-wise we started holding a weekly bible study (co-ed) at 12pm on Thursdays. Manuel, a national staff, leads them and the STINTers take turns helping out. We've seen a few consistent faces but each week it seems to grow and interest has been abundantly expressed. Wednesdays we're continuing to hold English club as well and plan to start up a weekly meeting this month. All of these steps are huge for our team and just evidence of how the Lord is working in building this movement on Matias
One Saturday we spent some R&R time with Layo and Luchy at the beach. Layo gave us one of his famous inspirational speaches regarding his and Luchy's call to be missionaries in El Salvador and challenged us to think of doing the same. The week before we had all been praying about re-stinting as we had to report to the Regional offices what our future plans were. My plans are to return to the States at the end of June and start looking for work; really just staying open to wherever the Lord would have me and continue to seek his will for my life. The same is true for most everyone except Jeff and Brandon. Jeff is planning to re-stint for one more year and Brandon has accepted the position of being Layo's personal assistant for the next 2-3 years. Both are excited about their future ministries here and are completely supported by our team and the national staff. Praise God for raising up workers!!

Many of you probably heard about the Presidential elections in the news a couple weeks ago as well. Despite rumors of possibly violence and riots, the election was peaceful. Nonetheless, we hunkered down in our homes for the weekend for safety reasons and watched movies, played games and spent some quality time together as a team. The socialist/marxist party (FMLN) won the presidency for the first time since the opposing party (ARENA) came into office over 20 years ago at the end of the civil war. The party was formed by guerillas at the end of the war and hasn't held much swagger with the people until now when the country is itching, desperate really, for change. They don't come into power until June, so we'll only be here a month to see what happens - but we will definitely be praying for the future of this country.

About a week and half ago Marijke and Kristen took a day off of school to deal with some ongoing personal medical issues Marijke has been dealing with pretty intensely this year. That night we gathered as a team and listened as the two announced that Marijke would be going home for the remainder of the year to get the best medical attention. Less than 12 hours later we said goodbye and drove away from the airport in awe. I could probably write an entire book about our team in those moments and days after. The reality is that this year has brought us all closer than we could have ever imagined. Our circumstances have caused us to rely on one another, to be vulnerable and honest, to care and love for one another, to resolve conflict together, and learn to work as a team. We are a family - the body of Christ, and losing Marijke was like having a part of our body ripped away. We miss her dearly and pray for her all the time - but have also found so much encouragement through it as a team. We were forced to go to scripture and remember who the Lord is. More than ever we were reminded of God's good plan for us and complete sovereignty over this year. I feel like I say this a lot, but we gained such beautiful perspective in our role here, in our role in doing the Lords work and in God's faithfulness to each of us through it all. God met with us and is still healing many of our hearts, but through it all we are praising Him for His goodness and perfect plan.A few days later Trevor's family came, Brenna got engaged, and the SLO spring break team came for a week. All in all, this month has felt more like a year... Look for details about the Spring break week in my newsletter! I love you all and am sorry for the length of this. I would be so impressed in anyone who spent the time to read it all :) More updates coming soon and thank you for continued prayers and support!