It’s been way too long since I've posted on here and I keep putting off doing blogs on ministry... well, I will shortly, I promise! but for now, just thought I'd share a bit of my quiet time from today
2 Kings 14
It's about Amaziah, King of Judah... one of the bazillion kings in the Old Testament; He "does what's right in the eyes of the Lord" (these guys are hard to come by at times in this book) but ends up challenging the King of Israel to fight him (v.8) "come, let us look one another in the face." In v.10 we learn that it's from a place of greed, pride, selfishness when the King of Israel answers him "be content in your glory, and stay at home, for why should you provoke trouble so that you fall, you & Judah with you?" He's got some words of wisdom. At times I find myself rooting for people to 'see the light' in the bible. Unsurprisingly, this one's another stubborn fool and goes to war anyways.
It did get me thinking, though, about what I'm going after, where my greed, pride, selfishness isn't satisfied? With just over 3 weeks left, I feel like sometimes I put pressure on myself to return home perfect in all areas. I want to come back to the states and have people see, well, me. It's ugly, I know, but it's true. I want my personality, my experiences, my relationship with the Lord, my future plans... all of it to just look good. And I think these last weeks I could very easily hold on too tightly to relationships with my teammates; expecting too much from them; wanting to be all things to all people. It's so silly really, when I can plainly see how much I fall short, and how beautiful it is when the Lord and the body steps in to take care of all that.
Well, I kept reading and came to a few conclusions about selfishness (and all the ugliness that surrounds it):
- When we go after selfish things, we bring others down with us, whether we see it or not (vs.10 "...you and Judah with you")
- In the pursuit of self, we become blind to truth. We see only our own cravings, lusts, desires, needs, wants - and miss everything else. What God wants. (vs.11 "... but Amaziah would not listen")
- Selfishness is defeating. You're on the brain, and you're all you've got to give. You're bound to lose the battle (vs.12 ...and Judah was defeated by Israel")
In thinking about the chapter as a whole, I was so aware of how these guys are just men. They fail, they make mistakes. Some do good, some evil. But above all, when God is out of the picture, things almost always seem to go awry. It makes sense - we're called to walk with Jesus, to be holy. Our eyes need to be on the Lord for anything to make sense or have purpose. How can we find any value in this life if it doesn't last? If it's not eternal? Don’t' get me wrong - this life is a gift and I'm just as determined as the rest to live it to it's fullest. But I sincerely wonder sometimes why we can't just forget worldly expectations and just be Jesus to people?
I'm praying for that in my life, because I'm human. I fail. I disappoint and sin. But being given grace gives me hope and purpose. I'll keep failing when I do it on my own - so why not just give it all up to the Lord? Let Him take me and use me, wholly surrendered?
It's the basics of Christianity really. But that is my faith. I suppose we all need to go back to the basics sometimes. Refocus our eyes and our lives; make sure we're not just accepting grace but allowing it to transform us as we give everything we are over to the Lord.
"Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen." - Ephesians 3:20-21
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